An update to all my family and friends:
First, you all ROCK! Thank you for the positivity, the smiles, and the laughter you have sent in the form of cards, calls, IM, texts... It’s been hard getting to all of it! If I have not responded yet it’s not because I haven’t wanted to! It’s been a much needed distraction from homeschooling three boys, while trying to settle into remote work life. Welcome to Corona-cation!
In the midst of all this excitement, I spoke with my doctor this week and, given everything that’s going on in the world, the surgery has been postponed. After a discussion, we agreed an alternative is needed for the foreseeable future. So I have a virtual appointment (changing times!) with the medical oncologist on 4/2 to discuss medications to slow the growth of the cancer while we wait for the COVID-19 virus to quit being the center of attention!
Let’s see what she has to say. More to come. Please stay safe and healthy, my friends. ️And please STAY HOME!
Spoke with Dr. Chamberlain yesterday the oncologist at DHMC.
The short version is that my surgery will go as planned but with a 4-6 month delay. To slow the growth and manage any invasive stray cells, I’ll be taking Tamoxifen, which is a drug that limits the growth or multiplication of cancer cells. A diagnostic test called Oncotype DX is ordered to determine the benefits of chemo and the chances of reoccurrence. Usually it’s done after surgery but, because of my situation, it’ll be done now. If results indicate the need for more aggressive intervention, then we’ll regroup.
For now, Tamoxifen it is. I’m bracing for mood swings and hot flashes. Thank God I’m working from home!
This is the message I send out to my group. Now what? Back to the routine? The routine is no longer normal, but it's normalcy that I'm craving.
“Control what you can control and let the rest go.” Words of wisdom from my 17-year old, Quinn.
“It took me along time to realize that, Mom”
A long time? It took me almost 40 yrs to figure that out!
My new routine has me up each morning to meditate, and this has become the pillar of my sanity and optimism. I focus on my health, thanking my body for working so hard to be healthy, believing my heart can control my cells. I thank my right breast every day because she's taking one for the team. She’s the reason I’m taking a second look at myself. I thank her again every night for keeping things contained, for not letting anything stray past her gates. Of course I’m also getting very intimate with her to watch for any changes, any lumps or pain... anything different. Doctor's orders.
Everything is on hold and I have to go on living like nothing is wrong. But for how long? I can be angry, but I won’t give in to the negative, even if I want to. Why is this all happening in the middle of a global pandemic? I guess this new routine will keep my head busy rather than focusing on the delay of removing the tumor. It's only a centimeter across, after all. How much damage can it do?